FUN WITH COFFEE

what's better than a hot cup of coffee in the morning...

nothing i can think of

i need that hotness to get me going

it's true that the world runs on coffee

every year, 400 billion cups are consumed

- that's one cup of coffee for 400,000,000,000 people

- but the world only has 7 billion people

some body's drinking more than one...

it's the caffeine fiends that are running the world

kids with ritalin and mountain dew

teens guzzling red bull and full throttle energy drinks

and a whole lot of people downing 5-hour energy

...every couple of hours, whether they need it our not

it's surprising more stuff doesn't get done, or stolen

this makes cardiologists very busy and thus, rich

but what is all this caffeine doing to us...

experts in the coffee field, say that more than 500mgs

causes anxiety, irritability, headaches, sleeplessness

and even spelling difficulties

so between your coffee in the morning

your energy drink during your coffee break

your one or two caffeine laced soft drinks at lunch

your sugar laced energy bar and soda in the afternoon

and your cocktails of red bull and patron before you eat

you're probably having about 50,000mgs of caffeine per day

 

it only took 40,000 to launch the space shuttle

M.O.P.D. IS CHANGING OUR REALITY

online social media has exploded in the past five years

there are 100s of social sites with multiple millions

of people interacting and exchanging personal information

every minute of every day all throughout the world

there are many dangers and many different and

very disturbing trends that have emerged

however the most unnerving is the practice for many

participants to have different personalities, multiple identities

it has been documented that a full 80% of social media

users have more than one identification on multiple sites

one ID for a social soccer site and another for a porn chatfest

underground and as anonymous as most people feel this is

there is a reason that most people don't want to divulge

their true identity to everyone everywhere

it's not that they are private people or plain paranoid, no

these people are have a condition known as MOPD

multiple online personality disorder

it used to be refereed to as being psychogenic

- they live their lives only within their own minds

and not in the reality of the real world

and all of online social media has allowed this to thrive

there has been a case that has been recently revealed

where one such person is a salesperson on linkeden

is retired on facebook, a business owner on myspace

a photographer on their own webs.com photo page

a film critic on their own private blog account

a satirist on another blog and a stand-up comedian

on their tweeter account, with, get this

different information on all the various accounts

within each social media site

the classic example of psychogenic behavior

i gotta get a real life

NO ROAMING HERE

authorities in iowa said there may be a few stragglers

among the more than 200 escaped bison

most have been rounded up by the buffalo boys

from the local saloon, but there may be a few they missed

'those boys were pretty messed-up when we called 'em

for their help, they we're at margie's (a local sports bar)

they were eating buffalo wings and pounding back a few

so they did their 'best' - said the local deputy sheriff
 
osceola county sheriff's deputy seth hofman said

'the more you know about are local buffalo boys

the more suprised you'd be that they even left the bar

more than 200 bison escaped saturday evening from the

joe buffalo ranch north of ashton

the local theory is that they were at a hoedown

as soon as the hoes left, there was a stampede

the animals quickly spread across five counties

a lot of concerned citizens called in because

buffalo sightings are pretty unusual and of course

there ain't nothing worse than a horny buffalo

hofman also said 'searchers on horseback and 4-wheelers

managed to round up most of the crazed creatures

but some of the animals had to be put down for safety

a buffalo with a 4 hour erection can be quite dangerous

plus the fact the margie's was running out of sauce for

their wings and the boys were getting pretty antsy'

the real chaos was when the boys got back to the bar and

found that they had ran out of budweiser

the captain of the buffalo boys threatened to release

the biggest bison back into the community

that was solved when the sheriff shot him


- they needed more sauce