whatever it is, just say no
it's time again to be resolute
every year at this time we gotta give up stuff
stuff we didn't like last year
suddenly - it's gone
(then it'll probably be back by thursday)
but for now, by God, i'm gonna quit..
-it's the new years' resolution
every year, right after all the holiday fun
rich food, strong drink, boxes of candy, excess and recess
everybody makes their plans to start this, and quit that
and generally change their whole miserable lives
me, i'm looking for the easy way out
i'm like that commercial that says
'when diet and exercise alone won't work... - take this pill'
but i don't buy this miracle drug nonsense
i don't buy cuz i got no insurance and anyway
i don't like to take any of those new miracle drugs
my brother told me of a new one
it does everything for you, lowers all the stuff you want lowered
makes ya lose weight, pee all the time and see 20/20
and it only has 3 possible side-effects - just three...
possibly, you are going to fart your way into a coma
then die
i'll pass... no thanks
... instead - this year i decided that
i'm giving up crack and cauliflower
forever
