- now that the
trans-fats from everything, the desire for the fat has increased
dramatically
there has been a huge increase in fat related crime along
the southern border and the mexican government has
made a renewed call to stop the alarming rise in trans-fat crime
and violence and the growing rate of the trans-fat cartels
that are terrorizing the country’s chubby residents
people have become desperate and are getting their fat directly
from the nearest farm animals...
in the
sleeper cells inside taco bells
recently, a radical group threatened kraft foods over their
use of trans-fat in their popular oreo cookies...
scientists using bomb squad techniques have found a method
to reduce the immediate risk from these oreo fat bombs
- something all kids have known for a long time…
the process entails, among other things,
drowning the cookies in milk
corporate terrorists have been reportedly holding the colonel’s
original recipe hostage in exchange for some of his biscuits
seems that KFC’s biscuits still contain some trace amounts
of trans-fats ...so, much more trouble is ahead for
the colonel’s buns
the war on trans-fats is gaining momentum,
one sure sign is that the government has enlisted
former first lady
a PR campaign urging people to - ‘just say baked’
the department of homeland security has added a new division
- officially dubbed the center for science in the public interest
and informally known as the federal food police (FFP)
- which includes many large fat sniffing canine units...
armed with full patriot act powers, this agency has been
making raids on various fast food establishments with special
emphasis on the hamburglar’s hideout, - presumably in a
cave near mayor mccheese’s sprawling estate
wendy has been reported as ‘running for the hills’ and,
the burger king has issued a decree that assures that his
fries are trans-fat free but will no longer offer onion rings
- stating that 'they’re just tasteless that way...'
and in an unprecedented move,
under increasing pressure from federal authorities,
the girl scouts of
will be halted immediately
