FALLEN ARCHES. THE McREMODEL

erecting semi-swooshes

curving across the top of the newly flattened roof

is what mcdonald’s calls the 'yellow brow'

- or half of a golden arch

it’s got the familiar, bright-yellow design

but encased in a nike swoosh-like arc

WTF

wood tables replace fiberglass ones

and the steel chairs will give way to wooden chairs

and bar stools too, some with faux leather

upgraded POS systems to self-service, touch-screen

terminals that read swiped payment cards and 

collect consumer data in the same way supermarkets

get ordering habits from the use of loyalty cards

this is the future of mcdonald's

has that clown gone nuts...


just give me my 3 big macs and i'm outta here

mcdonald’s has touted much about its plan to revamp

most of its 14,000 domestic locations

it's plans are to ditch the bright colors and iconic roofs

of the past for ultramodern interiors and exteriors 

mcdonald’s mccafes already have borrowed the wildly

profitable specialty coffee concept from starbucks

now, it’s also 'borrowing' starbucks’ look and feel too

starbucks executives declined to comment on the changes

publicly however sources say they are steaming,

even frothing at the idea, word is the new mcdonald's

will have soft, creepy music and loud coffee makers

to add to the ambiance and the rip-off

from its beginning, mcdonald's has emphasized

serving customers quickly then getting them out the door

they now have plans to add even more upscale munchies

the chain no longer wants to rush you in and out

for a great burgers and fries

no, that job will now be left to in and out

now it wants you to stick around and tap into free wi-fi 

as you sip a cappuccino

WTF