my pockets have itched and i've itched 'em
but never have i been drunk enough to throw
one of those little food bombs into my microwave
don't get me wrong, i eat dough and ham and cheese
and sometimes pepperoni, everyday
but i make it myself, it's not frozen and made in another
country, while the 'meat' is out sourced and the pocketing
is done by little chinese girls
did you know that the packing of the ingredients of a
hot pocket is done by forced child labor in chinese
pre-schools, at night
it's been rumored that the so-called cheese in these things
is really left overs from government experiments
from the 50's
tests have proved that the 'ham' in hot pockets
contains no pork products
have you read the ingredients label...
let's just say that it's not bedtime reading
there's stuff in there that the europeans banned in the 70's
- but currently they are allowed in greece
and speaking of grease, ever notice how the
silver-lined cardboard 'cooking tray' absorbs more of it
- than the pretend bread-based crust
that stuff is made from the stuff they use on
the space shuttle as a heat shield during re-entry
i know what you're thinking...
how does he know so much about hot pockets
if he says he has never had a hot pocket...
well, i have to admit that in doing research for this post
i did put away a box or two
i can't remember exactly how many i did have
- there's so much sodium that my brain's a little tweaked
i think it's safe to say
these things are not safe at all
WATCH WHAT ELSE IS BEING SAID ABOUT HOT POCKETS
