for centuries, there's been no official french word for
a french kiss
finally, now, this frog oversight has been rectified
starting now, the french verb galocher
means 'to kiss with tongues'
the new word in the new french dictionary hits stores today
and you can bet, those crazy french kids will be
giving this crazy new fad a whirl and a tongue lashing as well
it seems strange that the wildly over-sexed french are
only just now linguistically embracing this popular pastime
we americans have always had many expressions to
describe a good, long french kiss
like 'slippin' her the lapper' or 'brushing her teeth' or
- as some call it - oral sex
but nothing quite as sexy as what galocher really means
la galoche is french for, wait for it
an ice-skating boot - kinky
so, i guess the new word riffs evocatively on the idea of
sliding around the ice
see, that's why there's no need to learn french
it's just a stupid language
and they don't like us anyway (until the next war)
so i propose that we no longer refer to tongue slipping
as a french kiss
no, from now on i say we call it
- a healthy vegan salad
so then i can ask a pretty girl to lunch and instead
slip her the tongue
