Saturday, January 14, 2012

HE'S DOING IT!

it's official, as official as official gets

stephen colbert announced late thursday night

that he will form 'an exploratory committee to lay the

groundwork for my possible candidacy for the

president of the United States of South Carolina'

now that's pretty vague, and not very serious

the deadline for qualifying for the ballot was 11/1/11

but that's not stopping the exploration (for ratings)

south carolina state law does not allow any write-in

ballots in presidential primaries, no problem (for a god)

there is no blank space on voting machines to write-in

a candidate, that's not gonna stop him (not with his power)

- colbert does actually believe that he is all powerful

the executive director of the south carolina republicans

stated that 'stephen colbert has about as much chance

of being elected president in south carolina

as he has of being elected pope'

i knew it! see, i think this is what he is really up to

this guy has never gotten over that catholic school

incident the one that included 3 nuns and a can of diet coke

he's wanted to be in charge of the church for a long time

just so he can get back at the nuns and ban diet coke

i think this comedy thing and president thing have been

part of a diabolical plan to wear the funny white pointy hat

the real significance of the announcement may be the

spotlight it puts on his catholicness and the fact that he

doesn't like knelling, small boys or lighting candles

look for colbert to renounce satan and start wearing

the kind of dresses the pope wears

instead of the spaghetti strap kind he usually wears

that'll be our first real clue, that and, when he moves to rome

- that he's really ready to be serious and be the pontiff

but come on, stephen colbert serious...