30 items removed from suspect's rectum
some people are too stupid to live
most of those, thankfully end up in jail
neil lansing is one... he's homeless and probably a little off
this man who was sent to jail in florida just recently
was found concealing 30 items in a condom hidden
way up inside his butt
the condom was found by corrections deputies
- the ones that have to great task of searching
such areas of the suspects that the other cops haul in
during a routine cell block search the officer noticed
something - not normal, coming out of neil's butt
a piece of the condom sticking out the man's rectum
the contents of the condom consisted of 30 various items
17 blue pills, (probably to help in a prison rape)
a cigarette (probably for after a prison rape)
six matches, one piece of flint, an empty syringe
- with an eraser covering the needle, a lip balm container,
a used condom, (what?)
a pharmacy receipt and a coupon
the coupon had expired as has lansing's chances of
living a normal life and becoming a model citizen
to add the final insult to the pain and injury
lansing will now face charges of possessing
drug and tobacco products in jail
enjoy your stay, neil, next time save room for dessert
