Monday, April 2, 2012

ORANGE CRUSH


huan long bing

write that down, you'll need to remember that

especially when you're screaming for your mimosas

a citrus disease that has killed millions of citrus trees

and cost growers billions of dollars across florida

has been detected in california and the illegal pickers

are all headed back to mexico by the truckload

despite the industry's best efforts to keep it at bay

the dirty, nasty mold is growing like it's in a 9th grade

boys locker room

after a long week of testing the US department

of fruits and nuts has confirmed that the citrus greening

moldie and oldie was detected in a lemon-grapefruit

tree in a residential neighborhood of LA county

what the hell is a lemon-grapefruit...

add vodka and that doesn't sound half bad

shipments of citrus trees within a 5-mile radius of the tree

were shut down quicker that a lottery buyer picks numbers

the disease stands to threaten not only california's

nearly $2 billion citrus industry

but also the much treasured backyard trees

that many families count on for their lemons to add

to their beer and fish

'huanlongbing' is called the world's worst disease of citrus

it had been present until now in all of the world's major citrus

producing areas except california

but like everything else, it eventually comes to LA

the bacterial disease is carried by the asian citrus psyllid

which have their own website

these little buggers attack a tree's vascular system

producing bad fruit and eventually killing the tree

sap-sucking pysllid that feed on an infected tree

love citrus and always become carriers of the disease

it is not a threat to humans, unless the orange juice is mixed

with cheap champagne, then vomiting results

with very ugly results

there is no known pesticide that can stop this infestation

so the government has decided to outlaw cheap champagne