Saturday, June 2, 2012

SEE THE FUTURE OF BURGERS

hamburgers have, throughout their history in this country

been effected by a gradual growing which has moved in

a gradual parallel with the size of our homes, cars, & asses

i don't see this trend slowing or stopping

it's always easier to make a bigger hamburger

than to make a better one

and the fastest-growing burger today is the massive

ten-ounce beef bomb sold at 5 napkin burger in nyc

at the 5 you go to a condiment bar and dress your

burger with over 30 different items, go 'head, pile it on 

all i want is good, aged cheddar, they have none

what you will never find at these burger places is better beef

the basic burger blend costs about 78 cents per pound

burger joints want to make profit

the quality of the product comes later

as does the true experience of digesting that pretend beef

in the future, i'm told, expect to see worse beef

artificially improved by perverted scientists

there will be flavor-press grinding technology

super sophisticated meat-scraping techniques

advanced emulsification methods that disguise 'bad smells'

however, a number of chains like smashburger

shake shack, bill's and steak 'n' shake

are returning the hamburger to its over salted

flattened black-iron, grilled to blackness roots

eventually, back to even the irreplaceable white squishy bun

but that's just my vision of a happy hamburger future

yours may be different, yours may be to continue

to settle for frozen blocks of pink slime

thrown on a hot grill and poked until some fat comes out

billions and billions are made just that way

and as long as americans have a love of hamburgers

and 99 cents to spare

that's the kind of burgers we'll all get

i just wish the hamburglar would steal big mac's recipe

so mcdonald's will learn to make a real burger again

just like they did back in the good ol' days


because i only have 15 cents to spare*

*SEE