Thursday, May 8, 2014

COLBERT GIVES A CRAP

constipation is a serious issue
 
butt not for one stephen colbert
 
he knows that sometimes you need a little help
 
a gentle nudge
 
colbert suggests that you put your cell phone on vibrate
 
and stick it where the sun don't shine
 
four times a year, stephen colbert acquiesces to his
 
network's request that he includes a sponsor's name and
 
product into his program, which could be scary knowing stephen
 
and four times a year, those advertisers are forced to cringe
 
cringe through a segment for which they paid big money to cringe
 
on last night's show it was t-mobile's turn
 
and this time out colbert gave them the real pooh pooh
 
they actually had to pay for this crap
 
there's a new pill that vibrates inside you and helps pooping
 
so, naturally, colbert showed how t-mobile can save the day
 
colbert led off his show with a joking nod to the product
 
he was supposed to integrate into the show
 
giving it a cursory mention that would have probably pleased
 
t-mobile's marketing execs had it been the only nod they got
 
but of course, colbert had much bigger plans
 
he went on to deliver the company its most memorable
 
endorsement in years
 
yep, t-mobile: dropped calls are just the beginning