find a pencil – go ahead, get one
i’ll wait...
ok, now put it in your teeth
don’t let it touch your lips, - good
now think of something you enjoy
like maybe hot coffee with the sunday comics
or one of those videos where the fat guy falls on his head
as he's trying to ride a bicycle backwards on gravel
see, you're smiling, the answer to all your meaningless problems
science has found that when people smile, they feel happier
- sounds simple, but so are people
keep that pencil right there, and think of something bad
see - you still are smiling, and probably not that bummed-out
and check this out
they did this study with two groups of people
simple people, (the only kind that submit themselves to studies)
one group looked at products that were scrolled horizontally
the other – the products were moving vertically
and that second group liked the products better, because,
get this
they were nodding their heads up and down, instead of back and forth
(that’s why people don’t like tennis...)
the point here, oh, go ahead and take that stupid pencil
out of your mouth, before you get lead poisoning…
the point, is that you can control your happiness
shake your head side to side while chewing on a pencil
you’ll be much happier and your co-workers will
think your nuts
