i don't know if you have or have had directv
if you have, you know they'll do anything, anything
not to lose you as a customer
over the years, i've gotten months of free premium stuff
and add-ons and discounts, just by threatening them
but today, i had to call and tell them that i am cancelling
i've been with them from their beginning
so when they learned that i was leaving them for good
- they brought out the big guns - threw everything my way
the guy said that they would give me free service at
my new place, bring over celebrities to sing and dance
in person
make me popcorn and cookies every night
for the next 3 months - restrictions apply
give me free hbo, sho, own, tlc even a blt
and all the free porn i could handle...
he would do anything for me not to break it off
i said, i'm sorry, but we are through, it's over between us...
THAT'S WHEN HE GOT TOUGH
he explained to me that those satellites that they have
do much, much more that just beam tv to earth
no, he said, we will NOT let you leave, we will find you
track you like a terrorist, and hound you like a dog
he said, those satellites are launched by the air force
and are armed... and he inferred that they can kill you
well, even with all that, i broke it off
and now i get to see what time-warner will break off in me
