Tuesday, May 15, 2012

IT'S NOT HARD ENOUGH FOR SEX

something funny is going on in the american bedroom

well, maybe not so funny if you're in bed for

something other that sleep

in droves, people have been outfitting their beds

with a plush, squishy, and decidedly controversial type

of new high-tech mattress

while these products support the body just great during sleep

they make it real hard to... get it on

the mattress just isn't giving the support for the needed 

moves

the main complaint is lack of traction - if you get the drift

they say it's like trying to do it in quicksand

- now that would be hard, yet maybe pretty kinky

true, there's nothing good about squishy during sex

a sex therapist has stated that it couldn't be clearer

'there's a lack of resistance for the knees and feet

and everybody knows, ya need a lot of resistance during sex

also, whoever is on the bottom, just sinks into the bed'

'go ahead, just lay there, pretend i'm not here'

that's what i've always said, but now, they can't move


these created for space flight, memory-foam mattresses

are far and away the fastest-growing segment of the

$4.6 billion wholesale market for U.S. mattresses

memory foam's market share has shot up from 14%

to nearly 20% in just the past eight years

in other words, mattress shoppers are apparently not aware

of what they are getting themselves into

yeah sure, maybe a better night's sleep

but as most men know what make you go right to sleep


- a six pack and a couple of 'pops'

then again

there's always the floor