lately, i've been as wet as michael phelps
it's been so hot and humid that i'm usually just soaked
so, what i've done
- what i've had to do
is invent an all-body, full coverage, no-kidding-around
coast-to-coast anti-perspirant
i went to the drug store
armed with my best credit card
and bought all they had of the good stuff
- it's the best a man can be
it's gillette's CLINICAL STRENGTH anti-perspirant
i used them all, i think about 20 of 'em
i spread all of them all over my bed (not the bed spread)
it looked like yogurt, it was sticky, it was gooey
i rolled around in the sheets 'til i was wrapped-up
like a chimichanga
i didn't sweat for over an hour
but feeling like a chimichanga
i had to go out and get one
i natually ordered it wet
