Saturday, September 29, 2012

STEPHEN COLBERT WROTE A BOOK AGAIN

hello reader nation, in the history of mankind there has
 
never been a greater country than america
 
you could say we're the #1 nation at being the best at
 
being great
 
but as perfect as america is in every single way
 
america is broken
 
the big problem is we can't exchange it
 
because we're 236 years past the 30-day return window
 
plus we can't find the original packaging
 
just look around - we don't make anything anymore
 
and nothing and no one works
 
we print fake money at an amusing rate
 
we've mortgaged our future to china and lately india
 
and the apologist-in-chief goes on world tours
 
just to golf and to bow down before foreign leaders
 
but just to show how far we've dropped, how bad is it...
 
the four seasons hotel in beverly hills doesn't even have a
 
dedicated phone button for the spa appointment desk
 
- you need to actually dial an extension number
 
where and at what point did we lose our way...

well, stephen colbert believes it's high time we restored
 
our great country to the greatness it never lost

in his new book - america again
 
which he will pimp on oprah's next chapter sunday night
 
he shows how to pull this country back from the brink
 
it features everything like numbered chapters and pages
 
it covers subjects ranging from health care
 
(i shudder to think where we'd be without the wide variety
 
of prescription drugs to treat our maladies
 
- terrible problems such as think-shuddering)
 
to the economy, colbert covers the hard econ-facts like
 
'life is giving us lemons, and we're shipping them to the
 
chinese to make our powdered lemon-flavored lemonade'
 
the book is available on october 2nd
 
get yourself some good reading and more importantly
 
a good solid door stopper for the cruel winds of fall
 
if you actually read the book, you will see why
 
stephen colbert always gives america the dose
 
- of the truth it needs to get back on track
 
 
warning: do not read this book while commuting on trains