embassies are closing, the military is on high alert
global travel warnings have been issued, people are nervous
and it's all because of a snack cake
twinkies are back and this time they are fighting mad
they've now banded with whacked-out iced-up cup cakes
now they're not so wobbly and have a real solid base
they also have been reported to be teaming up
with other cake snacks as well - it's a worldwide movement
they have adopted cute little smiles to disarm us
and they have shed the confines of their plastic wrappers
they have marched out of the supermarket and into the streets
they have been spotted at delis, ATMs and self-serve stations
and they vow to never be discontinued ever again
they say that their assault will make the zombie apocalypse
look like a cake walk and probably be as easy as pie
the president has authorized the necessary capital for extra
drone surveillance and specialized weapons and tactics
the government is said to be working on a secret extractor
the military will be issued straws to suck the cream center
right out of the little bastards
meanwhile their chief spokescake has stated that
they are not afraid of any possible government intervention
'we're not afraid of the US government or the NSA they
can't even find edward snowden
- how they gonna track our sno-balls'
