Thursday, October 3, 2013

NO LOUD NOISES, PLEASE

the number has grown dramatically in the last month
 
back in september there were between 2,000 and 4,000
 
within 10 days the number had doubled
 
and now the number has reached over 10,000
 
this huge gathering of walruses was captured by photographers
 
and scientists can't believe what they are seeing
 
the big cuddly beasts - weighing in at over 1300 pounds each
 
- love to cuddle and play and spoon with each other
 
but with this extra large gathering, it's getting a little weird
 
there are so many packed together on a narrow strip of land
 
that scientists are worried that if they get startled...
 
a stampede would be devastating, it could last for weeks
 
experts estimate that if that much fat hits the mainland

(130,000,000 pounds!)

the results could be catastrophic

the fact that they won't be headed for 24 hour fitness

is one thing, but every fish restaurant would be decimated

within minutes

ordinarily, the US fish and wildlife service would be taking

drastic steps to prevent any kind of stampede

but, the government is closed and all the game wardens


as well as all agents from NOAA have gone to bora bora

if fact, all of the federal agencies that would respond to

this mass of blubber headed our way are all on furlough

so, you can forget about syria, iran or the zombie apocalypse

if these walruses get spooked

we may soon all be up to our butts in walrus


no sudden moves or loud sounds, shhhh