how did ellen do
she hosted the oscars again for the 2nd time last night
and right away threw in a dig about it being so long since she returned
so, how'd she do as host
that depends on when you tuned in
right from the git go she went surprisingly dark
she was edgy and mean-spirited with her opening
monologue
whipping out a number of edgy zingers at the hollywood crowd
a crowd that she isn’t really a member of
she knows she seems to be always the
outsider
but that's because of this obvious reason – her wardrobe
ya see, she wears men's clothes - in public and on TV
the real surprise of the night was that she actually wore a dress
but that was just in fun because she dresses like a man
it was funny when she was bugging jonah hill to 'see it'
saying that you showed us something in that film that I
haven't seen in a very, very long time...
that'd be right about the time when she ‘switched’ sides
then she referred to showbiz legend liza minnelli as
one of the most amazing liza minnelli impersonators i have
ever seen
going on the say good job sir
now let’s think about this for a second – ellen calling liza
a man
liza was the one wearing an evening gown and not a tux
but later, following that hit-and-miss monologue
ellen switched gears and started doing some crowd work
then handed out lottery scratchers and
did a very long pizza bit
that bit helped the show last a long 4 hours
then she passed the hat around for cash
and i do mean thee hat
then she decided to try to take a record breaking selfie
a selfie with actual movie stars
meryl, j-law, angelina, julia, pitt and spacey and even
lupita
the tweet shut down twitter for almost 20 minutes
but later she brought it all full circle by stopping by minnelli's seat
for a another selfie session and sort
of an apology for the earlier crack
liza just looked up and said
maybe someday you’ll find your way, deary
